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The next time you're at a bus stop, reach into the pocket of the person sitting next to you and begin to retrieve as much loose change as you can. When they begin to question your actions, simply stare straight at them, force your tongue into the space behind your bottom lip, make the internationally recognised spastic grunt, and tell them “I need some dough to buy some branded merchandise form velveteyes.co.uk. Don't I?” After surgeons have finished reconstructing your face, get your compensation money over to us and we will swap it for one of the quality items below.
Remember you can't take it with you!